Jacob the Rich Bum

Jacob was kicked out of home at the age of 17. Five years have passed since then and now he was the poorest bum living on the streets of Melbourne. Other bums where richer than him, heck, little babies where richer than him. He had minus money. His money problems where so bad he was below red, it was more like a black hole. He tried getting a job, no body wanted him. He tried busking with his guitar; the money he made went towards his dept to society. He died from starving, he went to heaven, and they didn’t want him. So he went to Hell. They didn’t want him either. So he came back alive, and at this point of the story, his life changed dramatically.

During his travels of the After Life he met a man. A man who was great at doing stuff. Jacob learnt all of the stuff the man knew, and was that knowledgeable of stuff, he figured out how to come back alive. It took him 1000 years, but he came back alive. After he came back to life he realised that the place he new had changed. A great war had broken out between Melbourne and Sydney and now the place has became war trashed and corrupt. The war has past now but tension still draws between Melbourne and Sydney.

Jacob was horrified of what had happen to his once lived street home. He decided to do something about it. With all his knowledge about stuff, and the 50 cents in his bank account that he forgot all about, had accumulated over the past 1000 years he was able to help rebuild the city. But most importantly he decided to build a real cool casino under the Yarra River. It is the richest place in Melbourne. He figured that everyone was a basted and never gave him money when he was a bum, so now he will take the money from them. Jacob still doesn’t have a home. He still lives on the streets. He doesn’t want the populace to know that he is rich, or he will be hunted down and killed for his money.

Six months later the head of the Vegans visited him from above. He thought it was some sort of angel that was sent from heaven. His memory triggered that he was rejected from heaven, and was a big jerk to this ‘angel’. The Vegan wanted to welcome him to their safe haven, called Vegan Land because of all the great work he had contributed to the city. But Jacob was convinced it was an angel from Heaven, and didn’t want to listen to what the vegan had to say. Plus he wasn’t into only eating light bulbs. He now seeks vengeance on Vegan Land thinking it is Heaven. With all the money rolling in from the casino and all the stuff he knows, he is now building a secret Ninja Army to help take over Vegan Land and be the new God. But to his unknowledgeable stuff that he lacks, he will find out that it is Vegan Land and not Heaven and he can never be God.

This concludes the story of the richest bum in Melbourne.